Seriously! Yesterday my cat tried to kill me three times!

The first time I was taking a shower and my cat walked in the bathroom and started to paw the soap and then knocked it down into the tub and I wasn't paying attention. I then heard a thump on the ground and I though, "Damn that cat loves to knock things down!" and I was going to look out the curtain and my cat jumped up towards me and I got startled and took a step back and I slipped on the bar of soap my cat was playing with and I hit my head on the tap. Ouch.

The second time I was walking out of my room in my house coat and I was walking towards the stairs to go to the computer room and then my cat started running around my feet for some reason and I tripped over him (trust me, my cat is BIG and HEAVY) and I fell down the stairs because of that cat. I got a nosebleed when I fell face first. Double ouch.

The third time I was sleeping and for some reason I couldn't breathe in my sleep and I woke up with my killer cat trying to suffocate me by sleeping on my face.

Right now I'm on the computer with a rolled up newspaper and pillows tied around the spots where my cat might try to get me. That cat could be anywhere now.